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Title: Just Desserts
Author: Aritfuss

Pairing: None really... yet.
Rating: Well, it's not exactly family centric. Mature?
Category: Amazingly short fiction, perhaps a bit of humor. Nothing serious.
Summary: Don't ask where this came from, I don't know. It's a short tag fic to TPTB. *g*
Spoils: "Birthright", and Season Nine's "The Powers That Be"
A/Ns: Really. Don't ask. Oh, and it's unbetaed for the moment. I need to find someone who'd be up to that task.
Disclaimer: Not mine. Will never be mine. Why do we have to rub this little fact in each time before posting? *weeps*


Just Desserts

"What's wrong with him, I wonder?" Vala asked.

She, Daniel and Cameron were sitting in the middle of the commissary, licking their wounds from their latest encounter of the Orii Priors over dessert. Cameron and Vala had gone for the flavor of the day Jell-O, while Daniel found himself in front of a large slice of apple pie. Both men looked up to see who the "him" was that Vala was speaking of, finding her gazing upon Teal'c who was near the front of the dinner line-up.

Daniel looked away and dug into his pie, "I don't know what you're talking about."

Vala put her spoon down to rest her head on her left hand while she continued to stare at Teal'c, finding herself mesmerized by the sheer amount of food he was helping himself to. She idly wondered if the Jaffa's fat intake went straight to his biceps since his stomach was once gutted to incubate a symbiote. There probably wasn't room left to store any fat there, and it would certainly explain a lot about his build. Vala couldn't help but notice the way he forcefully threw all of the different offerings onto his tray. "I don't know," she said, as she continued to watch. "He looks- frustrated. Hmm, sexually frustrated perhaps," she stated, eliciting a choked cough from Cameron as he swallowed a spoon full of Jell-O down the wrong pipe. "I thought he had a girlfriend."

Cameron wheezed out, "I really didn't need that picture, thank you."

"Well, I didn't tell you to visualize anything now, did I?" Vala asked indignantly.

"Why do you think he had a girlfriend?" Daniel asked, before he could remind himself that it was best not to encourage her.

She leaned over towards Daniel, whispering in a conspiratorial manner, though Cameron was able to hear every word. "I've heard a lot of rumors over the years regarding the infamous S.G.1. You guys never went for subtle did you?"

Cameron wondered if Daniel had developed a special glare just for her, "Your point being?"

"Well, I know that you've fought the good fight together for a long time now. So you must know what his different moods look like." Vala said, as she picked her spoon back up for another slurp of gelatin. Pointing towards Teal'c with an empty spoon, she asked, "Tell me that doesn’t look like a man who's suffering from not getting any horizontal recreation."

Daniel reached out and slowly pushed her spoon down with his fork while he looked around to see if anyone was listening in to their conversation. He doubted Teal'c would appreciate anyone taking special notice of his "little" problem. "Look," Daniel said once he was sure no one was paying attention to them, "Teal'c, has a very healthy- sexual appetite. He's usually able to- uh, have his fill when the need arises, but with current Jaffa politics, he and Ishta haven't been very amicable to each other."

"Nicely put." Vala said with a small appreciative smile.

"None of the reports I've read made any indication of his sexual prowess." Cameron couldn't help but add to their conversation.

Daniel nodded, "I'd imagine they wouldn't."

"Now your sexual antics on the other hand-" Cameron continued.

"What?!" Daniel exclaimed, finding himself looking around the commissary again. Satisfied that he hadn't drawn any extra attention, he whispered a little more quietly, "And what- exactly, would you be referring to?"

Cameron decided to explain everything with his filthiest smile.

"Daniel, you dog! I thought we had something special." Vala tried to pout, though her 100 watt smile got in the way.

"Nope. Nothing special between you and-"


All three looked up to see Teal'c with a very heavy tray full of food in hand, from meat-loaf surprise to cottage cheese.

"Uhm, yes Teal'c?" His cheeks flushed a little as he thought of the phenomenal distance of which Teal'c could hear.

"I wish to speak with you."

"Sure!" He exclaimed, perhaps just a little too brightly. "What's up?"


"O- kay." Daniel got up as Teal'c dropped his tray onto the table in front of Vala and Cameron. Vala started to get up as well, only for Cameron to pull her back into her seat. Daniel glanced back at Cameron gratefully before he and Teal'c left the commissary, the double doors swinging wildly after them.

"I wager that when they come back, Daniel's shirt will be missing a button." Vala said while grinning at the still swinging doors.

"Really?" Cameron asked, around his last spoon of Jell-O. "I bet that they won't be coming back until breakfast."

The End




Disclaimer: Stargate is the property of MGM Studios (which is now part of Sony).
The material here is for entertainment purposes only and does not reflect what is
shown on TV/DVD/etc. No transaction of funds have been processed in any way.